I have been reminded recently that I had a lot of fear holding me back as I was building my business.
I have written about many parts of my life on my website and on social media … there is more I would like to share because if you are building a business or wanting to move on in your life there may be something here for you.
I felt I was not good enough. I thought I could never be a good mentor and I would never attract clients to my business. Wow!!! Now that was not good for my business!!
My mother called my stupid (I’ve written about that previously) and that seemed to have a flow on effect on me right through until recently. I know I am not alone, however those words still did not move me forward. I had to experience for myself the fact that I was ok, that I was good enough and that the many dollars – over $100k to be more exact, I had spent on educating myself as a coach and as a mentor, gave me enough knowledge to get started in my own business and be able to coach and mentor others to make change.
I was writing posts and articles about that little voice in our head that holds us back and all the time a little voice inside my head was holding me back. I was experiencing what I was writing about. Even on the days I was positive – I convinced myself it would never be enough. Even when I did have new clients signing up with me, I convinced myself it must be a one-of, or a mistake, because I could not imagine how they would choose me over the many other coaches out there in the world. Even when my clients gave me great feedback and told me they loved me, and I had changed their life, it still was not enough to convince me I would ever really be successful.
Through all of this I was committed to supporting my clients and at no time did I let them down. What they signed up for is what they received and more. I was making a difference.
One thing I have learnt. Although I was committed to my clients I was not committed to myself and following though on what I know I must do to build my business. I was letting myself off the hook. I was not keeping myself accountable.
You see, I was confused about who I should be and what I was supposed to be like instead of holding a mirror up to myself, taking a long hard look and working on the things I really needed to change. There is no rule book to tell us who we should be. I was attempting to work out who I should be for everyone else and had not spent time on my own development to be the most authentic version of myself that would have me loving myself and believing I was capable and committed.
There was a light bulb moment for me when I realised I could change and all I had to do was commit to what I believed I was worth, how I deserved to be treated and that I was enough.
Sounds simple? The first part was the realisation and then the work started. More personal development and more commitment to myself was confronting to say the least, however, the day I made that commitment was memorable and life changing.
I am continually working on my growth and personal development. Most of all I remind myself that I can hold a mirror up anytime any where and look at myself to observe how I really am, what I can change and what I want to change.
Learning to look in a mirror at our own behaviour and giving ourselves blatantly honest feedback is one of the most powerful and life changing things we can do for ourselves.
M x
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