I often talk about saying it how it is and being authentic. So, I think it’s time to share a little more about me that I haven’t shared before. I am a real person with real problems to work through just the same as you, and yet I have tried to push this down and not share, however this is the time to let it all out with the thought it may help some of you who read this.
I have shared a lot of my story in the past, here is a recap and much more….
I was very quiet and shy as a child and a tomboy, choosing the outdoors and to follow my father and help him around the farm and in his shed. He was a lot of fun to be with and we laughed often. My mother was also fun, but she continually told me I was stupid. Not in a nasty way, but it hurt me deep down. It was no wonder I was shy and lacking in confidence, because I didn’t believe I could do anything very special with my life. My parents told me I couldn’t continue my education because I would most likely just get married and have kids. I lived my life from day to day with no grand aspirations.
Having said that, I did believe my parents loved me, even though I cannot ever remember them telling me so.
I fell in love at 16 and married at 20 and was widowed at 21. As you can imagine this was a tough time to say the least, but I kept going. There was no counseling as there would be now, I went back to work and kept busy. I remarried a few years later, had two beautiful boys and was divorced soon after. Bringing up my boys on my own had a whole new set of challenges, but again I did my best and kept going.
Being a mother was one of the most wonderful things I had experienced in my life, I gave love and was loved in return, unconditionally.
I went to work as a part time Bank Teller when my youngest son started school. I still had no aspirations of doing any more with my life than having a small income and being a mum. The years past all too quickly and after working as a teller for about 10 years I was promoted to the position of Bank Manager. I was surprised to be given this position and believed the only reason I was promoted was because no one else wanted the job. I remember my Mother asking me how I got the job because she didn’t believe that I was intelligent enough. I then doubted myself even more.
My mother and father had both passed away before I reached a higher level of management. I was promoted to Collins Street Melbourne and then on to one of the largest Branches in Victoria, and I still didn’t feel confident even though I was meeting all my targets (yes Banks have sales targets!) and managed a large team. I was still very shy, even to the point of feeling nervous running the weekly team meeting.
Fast forward to 2009 and I was on the corporate scrap heap. I was retrenched after about 25 years in banking. I had feelings of confusion and of being too old to be re-employed, and not being valued or needed. After about 6 months of not doing much at all, I decided to go back to study, 40 years after leaving school, and becoming a qualified coach. I worked hard and gathered quite a few other qualifications as well. I had a whole new sense of confidence, self worth and self belief and that grew to the point of me taking the next step of beginning my own business. I had a burning desire to support others to feel the beautiful sensation of self worth, self belief and most of all self confidence. My dream was to inspire others to learn and grow and believe that they too can dream and plan a life that is worthwhile and more than they have now.
I found a whole new set of challenges in the start up phase of my business and I learnt to keep going even when I felt like giving up. I lost friends. Some of my closest friends didn’t understand what I was doing and no longer felt they understood me. I was confused and didn’t understand that they couldn’t see the smile on my face, even when the stresses of starting up a business were very palpable I was still happy.
I started Life with Purpose, coaching clients one-on-one and soon realised this was not a sustainable business model. The income was not enough to cover my outgoings. I then added Style with Purpose, and worked with women building their confidence and styling them to have them feeling amazing on the inside and out.
Still there was something missing and so I worked even more on building my confidence as a speaker to promote my business. Now I added Speaking with Purpose. At this point I was becoming confused about my niche and what I was offering in my business. I lacked clarity and didn’t plan near enough and didn’t set goals that could be met. I was scared to narrow my niche for fear of missing out on clients.
I over came my fear of speaking in public by being mentored and moved on to run workshops to build my business and was paid for keynote speeches.
Fast forward again to 2013 and I was three years into a business that was still not making ends meet. By this time I was living on the equity I had in my home and that was diminishing by the day. I decided 2013 was going to be my year in every sense of my business and my personal life.
This is the part of the story that prompted me to write this piece in the hope I will inspire even more ladies to keep going in their business.
My finances and my personal life went pear shaped. A relationship I had collapsed when another women came on the scene. I lost my closest friend and didn’t know how I could keep going. I recall a particular Friday when I had planned to be with friends working on a project I had been looking forward to for years and was now no longer welcome. I had a very small breakfast, no lunch and a couple of glasses of red wine instead of dinner at night. I had no energy to barely move let alone function to run my business. The next morning I couldn’t get out of bed because my energy levels were extremely low and I couldn’t stop crying. Late morning I phoned my son because I knew he wouldn’t want me to be in this position and not let him know. He came bearing fresh fruit and made me cups to tea with honey and cuddled me as I cried. It seemed as though it couldn’t get any worse. It did. I started dry reaching and then vomiting. My beautiful son stood next to me and handed me tissues and a glass of water. This is a vision I will never forget. As a mother I was there for my children, especially when they were ill, but this is not something I expected my 30 year old son to do for me.
I knew at that time I didn’t want to ever be in that position again as long as I lived. My son nursed me back to a place where I could look after myself again and checked in from time to time.
I had found within me the strength to build my business and prove to myself I was worthy of owning a very successful business. I was strong, determined and focused and I was no longer going to let my past hold me back. I had choices and I chose to keep going and move through the stress of my finances being at an all time low and feeling as though I was not good enough. I felt sad that I had to get to the point of desperation but I knew that I would never be there again. I started working with mentors who supported me and had my best interest and the interest of my business at heart and also gave me the missing pieces I needed to build the business of my dreams.
I trust this post will help women to believe in themselves and have the confidence to keep going and build the business of your dreams.
You are worthy and you can work through anything that comes your way.
You are strong.
You DO have choice.
Choose to be awesome every single day and follow your dreams.
Have a structure and work with a mentor.
You will be empowered and you will inspire and empower others.
Ignore the dream stealers.
Keep going even when you know it will be the challenge of your life.
M x
** Please leave a comment below – I would love to hear your thoughts…
Margaret, you are one of the most amazing women I know! Even though you had previously shared this story with me, reading it and knowing you are sharing it with the world makes me admire your courage even more. You are an inspiration to women everywhere, I know you have people question the way you work so hard and I also know how rewarding your work is. I am proud to have you as my mentor, coach and friend. Keep being amazing and take care of you. Sharon 🙂 xx
Margaret, thank you! Your story has come into my perception at a time of great challenge! It has given me hope, inspiration and energy to do what I need to do. I have just found myself in a very similar position to what you have described and have experienced every unresourceful emotion possible in the last few days. I have been using some tools I have learned which has helped immensely, your story however has cemented so much in place. I am going to keep this on my desktop and in my more ‘challenging’ moments will read it for inspiration.
I wish you much love, courage and happiness for the amazing future you have created for yourself and much gratitude for the courage it took to share this xx
Margaret, i would never have imagined the pain you have been through. I joined your FB page because i am afraid of public speaking. I watch you with interest and long to be confident like you. I cannot believe how hard 2013 was for you and i thank you for sharing….you have obviously risen above it.
You have inspired me many a day, I love the photos and have wished for success like you have….I hope one day we will meet and thank you for sharing such a deep account of your journey. Love to you and your sons xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I’m so grateful to you Margaret, for explaining to me the reasons why I continue to fail in business. I too were told as a young girl, that I was stupid, often enough by my brother, that I believed it was true. A teacher in year 7 told my mother that I was so shy and reserved that I possibly wouldn’t amount to much and with average grades I dropped out of school after failing year 11.
My journey after that was much like yours. I would strive to improve myself and self analyse myself over the next 20 years, 2 failed marriages and struggling as a single parent with 2 beautiful boys.
I now have the confidence for public speaking and don’t mind centre stage, but I haven’t been able to kick the confidence battle at the age of 45, enough to promote my business. I’m good at what I do, actually I’m very good at anything I set my mind to, but I just can’t seam to achieve my goals. Friends can tell me I’m talented every day and yet here I am barely surviving financially and feeling ‘stupid’ for my failings.
I know you got to a very low point where you decided to fight and finally achieve your goals, but how do I find a mentor to help?
Can we really escape it, do we ever really get there and not look back with contempt for the person who did this to us?
You’ve achieved so much more that I, that I admire your attitude after the long journey you’ve had to get there. Inspiration is important to all of us and your story is very heartfelt, thankyou.
Margaret, We were always confident you could achieve whatever you wanted and yes we know your story and have been with you at many of these cross roads to know that even though you thought you couldn’t rise above the issues we knew you would.
Self doubt can often be a hurdle, but the person who is true to themselves and given time (and of course natural ability) will shine through as you have.
Go girl!!!!
Hi
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. This has come at a really good time. Reading your story sounds so similar to what I am and have been going through. Take care and thanks again. I really appreciate it. I am still struggling with the lack of energy and drain of emotions. The amount of times I have been knocked down and picked myself up again has made me feel so tired. However, I will keep at it. Cheers
Margaret
I read your post with interest.
You talk of inspiring women, well I can tell you that you inspired this guy too.
Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Wow Margaret,
Reading your story, I thought I was reading my own life story. The struggle within is such a huge obstacle to overcome.
Along with the same life and farm and parents put downs and brother who abused me constantly, I have been through life battles with family with mental illness and I don’t know if you have had dealings with people with this illness as they know how to really impact the pain and the little details of your life and throw them at you and blame you for them so it has been one very difficult struggle. Now I am finally trying to follow my passion and make it work for me. Art is my escape and I find inspiration in all of the beauty that surrounds us.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Margaret, you are a joy and an inspiration. So honoured to have met you. I hope to see you again and spend more time talking.
Hi Margaret,
Thanks for sharing your story. My heart goes out to you with compassion for the pain you’ve endured and my spirit congratulates you on your courage, persistence, love and success. Yes I understand setting up a business is so very challenging… I’m there now, birthing my ‘baby’, my passion, my dream work, my purpose for being here and it’s a steep hill to climb.. in fact I’m having a ‘moment’ right now, a minor meltdown internally as technical and marketing challenges abound externally. I’m so glad you found your mentor… I know that’s what I need too. I’ll put out a request right now! And look forward to connecting with you more. I may want your services one day. Karakrista <3 🙂
Wow, thank you Margaret. I remember crewing with you once and thinking how you seemed to have it all together. I find it comforting to know that others are paddling away furiously under the surface of the water too. It takes strength and guts to stick with your values and keep working towards your dreams. I also admire you embracing vulnerability in this way; I find it a more helpful and encouraging approach, as we never know who is out there modelling us or comparing themselves with our apparent level of success. I wish you every success and look forward to following your journey.
Thank you Margaret. Having heard your story in person I suppose there was nothing here that surprised me but to see it in writing somehow made it more powerful.
I feel very fortunate to have someone as beautiful as you in my life and of course I am not just referring to your natural good looks. Such honesty could only come from the most beautiful spirit. xxxx
Margaret, so loved your honesty and depth of sharing… Thanks for that.
Many people ( I used to, intimately , know one..) in face of hard, challenging, depressing times, choose to ignore , push out , pretend it doesn’t happen… yes, there is a medical term for it..
Now I know, and I’m sure you do, too, that living through hard, confusing times only make you stronger, confident , determined and capable to , successfully, handle everything life throws at you in future.
Thanks, again, for a courageous, inspiring , personal story.
You ROCK !!! xx
Margaret dear We have met only once and yet your courage, tenacity and strength shone through. You are a Beautidul woman and I thank you for sharing your story with us all. It takes another kind of courage xx you’re a legend xxx
Hi Margaret, I knew a lot of your story but can’t believe after you worked with me you still had troubling times. I thought you were the most switched on person I knew. And you are and you keep reinventing yourself, always becoming a better version of you. I still recall many of our conversations and I want you to know that you helped me so much back then. I know you’ve moved well on from life coaching, and I often wish I had my own business so I could have the opportunity to work with you again. One never knows though 😉
Thanks for your courageous story
Susan xx